Self Aware

by Shutterings

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about

This album and lil bit longer in particular are dedicated to emma tavasci who was always encouraging and believing in my art and everyone else's in our lil orange county scene.
She had a big beautiful heart and a wonderful ear for creating music and i wish she was here with us everyday...rest in paradise girly <3

credits

released April 20, 2017

izzyrollz - all instruments(except where noted), production/mixing

Viktor Vukovic - co/mixing, drums on track 8

Pedro Mancillas and Barry Sexton(FTG) - mixing/mastering

Album Cover - Lauren Rowe
audio snippets/samples
track 2 - jane birkin/serge gainsbourg interview
track 3 - Korean talk radio outside of Salem, Oregon
track 6 - Ryan McEwan and Garrett Dirtycat Kilbarger discussing their tour
meals
track 7 - Lee Scratch Perry talking in between songs when he played
down in santa ana

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Shutterings Mission Viejo, California

a personal reflection of my being, my brain, and my heart.
all songs written and recorded at home with occasional homies helping out.

all the music on this page is free just put a 0 if you don't wanna donate. ty <3

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Track Name: I Thought You Knew
backing out of any confrontation
wheres that sense of carnage?
let me in on all of your deprication
now I'm all hot and bothered
whats the cost of you tossing out your pride?
for your life?
difference is that you've changed lost your stride
kept no lights above your head when they used to burn so bright

on a one way trip down a flight of stairs
i thought you knew the bouncer?
keep it cool keep it steady
before you talk all profoundly
im not one to take a spill on some pavement as a threat
but if you can't pull it together then you're better off left for dead
Track Name: Self Aware
cumbersome in tone but i don't need any pity
wonderful in tone but the flesh holds the key
don't wake me because sleeping feels so good
untouched by you and all the things i have to do

all this shit never really makes you self aware
and i know i don't
really seem that inclined to share
but i know you won't
feel it in your gut like you did before
and i know they won't
make you eat it right off of the floor

why do i feel so gracious?
is it because you want nothing more of the dangers
that you first sought out
aint nothing like a stranger
but i can drain out all of my blood just so you could savor
me all at once
don't wake me because sleeping feels so good
untouched by you and all the things i have to do
don't take me in place of another
you gotta see that doubt manifest itself in me as your lover

all this shit never really makes you self aware
and i know i don't
really seem that inclined to share
but i know you won't
feel it in your gut like you did before
and i know they won't
make you eat it right off of the floor
Track Name: A Lil' Bit Longer
from the archway i can see you look at yourself
that cold pale clone on the floor is not me
and this must be a dream
disruptions in the thoughts because
she didn't know how really lost she was
even though we could've all pitched in and done a bit more
guess i could let this go on for just a lil bit longer
guess i should have been more aware of my surroundings
in that i may not be in the best place both outward and in
don't take too long slip out of it when it washes over
i can't feel my hands can i borrow yours for the moment?
plz i had no previous consultation

all of us are here waiting to see you again and when we all meet we demand that you sing and tell us how you've been girl

blow this all to the wayside
until you can recall what you've gained
how long has it been?
since you've addressed yourself
you want to portray this blessed life
but all i see are the stressed signs
like being pressed for time
being pressed like a fine wine if the juice never left the grape
guess i could let this go on for just a lil bit longer
guess i should have been more aware of my surroundings
in that i may not be in the best place both outward and in
don't take too long slip out of it when it washes over
i can't feel my hands can i borrow yours for the moment?
plz i had no previous consultation

all of us are here waiting to see you again and when we all meet we demand that you sing and tell us how you've been girl
Track Name: Handle This
isn't it something when nothing feels better than watching you crawl
foraging feet in retreat from the ones who think lesser of me
or even bother at all
see I've thought about all the times where I've been restrained
and I've got it now all wrapped up and contained
see I've thought about all the times where i felt immortal
and I've got it now all wrapped up and sorted out

i can handle this on my own terms
step aside hide or quickly pass by if you don't wanna get burned

too much talk and not enough grit
theres more blood than gold in your spit now
see I've thought about all the times where I've been restrained
and I've got it now all wrapped up and contained

i can handle this on my own terms
step aside hide or quickly pass by if you don't wanna get burned
Track Name: Friendly Stares
constant repeat rather not hear nor see
like a big sinking ship its all the voices screaming in fits
walking through a veil made of faces as if they were planted there
only there to speak to me when I'm down and out in need of reasoning
theres not mine

looking for something that isn't there
finding no comfort in friendly stares
why are you still here?
does it mean that you don't see whats wrong?
you take your leave before you heard the first song!
I'm just trying to keep it moving along

sleeping in the wake like i was casted there
feeling all the ground quake as i make my past transgressions obvious
fighting for the mound of earth that i claim to be my home
nothing like the surprise of trying to keep it all alone
trying to keep it all alone

looking for something

looking for something that isn't there
finding no comfort in friendly stares
why are you still here?
does it mean that you don't see whats wrong?
you take your leave before you heard the first song!
I'm just trying to keep it moving along
Track Name: Could've Happened To Anyone
i can hardly bare to see whats left of the care that you had for me and the others
i had no idea about all the things to come
room to room to room clenching your fists
thinking about all the people that you've really pissed off
but don't you dare even blame yourself
this is out of your control

you're 20 feet deep way down in the thick of it
and understandably so i know that you're probably tired and sick of it

signs of moving decay
all that we ask is you remain silent and try to relax
this all just happened way to fast for me to latch on
and we will be right here in hopes that you catch on

you're 20 feet deep way down in the thick of it
and understandably so i know that you're probably tired and sick of it

This could've happened to anyone
Track Name: Oh No(Who The Fuck Are You?!)
im tiptoeing across a 30 foot tight rope
its as if i could lay beside you at night without a single sigh or moan
nobody locks their doors anymore and i can see why
sweet lil thing wrapped up for me and its right past my bed time

oh no who the fuck are you???
i come in many different shades but I'm feeling more red than grey today
so just plz let me go and ill promise ill do what you say
it doesn't matter if the chaos is tamed because you will be my display

what a mess to leave behind
i can't find my keys and i feel someone breathing down my neck
whip around no ones there but i feel a presence not here to protect
dry eyes chapped lips and sweaty palms
that slip when i take off
i replay it in my mind several times but i can't begin to break soft

i know what I've done and how i will be looked at

oh no who the fuck are you???
i come in many different shades but I'm feeling more red than grey today
so just plz let me go and ill promise ill do what you say
it doesn't matter if the chaos is tamed because you will be my display
Track Name: Bathed In Sunlight
folded underneath
between the ends of 2 feet
laying and gasping while you're bathed in sunlight
slowly grasping my hands and my head telling me that its alright
that i won't be a problem and i won't be a burden
but somehow i feel like a weight that can't be overturned
its pressing on your chest and you want it to stop
its like the dust overcame you in waves and swept through this place and you need it to spot

a quick getaway to take off and romance someone who could never take chances like i did

golden locks that drape themselves on top of your silk skin
i could never begin to tell you what i would do just to be in the presence and take in the essence of you and only you
Track Name: Nights(Frank Ocean Cover)
Round the city
Round the clock
Everybody needs you
No you can't make everybody equal
Although you got beaucoup family
You don't even got nobody being honest with you
Breath till I evaporated
My whole body see through
Transportation, handmade
And I know it better than most people
I don't trust them anyways
You can't break the law with them
Get some pussy have a calm night
Shooters killing left and right
Working through your worst night
If I get my money right
You know I won't need you
And I tell you, (biiitch)
I hope the sack is full up
I'm fuckin', no I'm fucked up
Spend it when I get that
I ain't trying to keep you
Can't keep up a conversation
Can't nobody reach you
Why your eyes well up
Did you call me from a seance
You are from a past life
Hope you're doing well bruh
I been out here head first
Always like the head first
Signal coming in and out
Hope you're doing well bruh
Everybody needs you
Everybody needs you
Oooh nani nani
This feel like a quaalude
No sleep in my body
Ain't no bitch in my body
New beginnings ahh
New beginnings wake up akh
The sun's going down
Time to start your day bruh
Can't keep being laid off
Know you need the money if you gon' survive the
Every night shit
The every day shit

Dropping baby off at home
Before my night shift
You know I can't hear none of that spend the night shit
Kumbaya shit
Want to see nirvana, don't want to die yeah
Wanna feel that na na though
Could you ride come by
After my shift
Know them boys wanna see me broke down and shit
Bummed out and shit, stressed out and shit
That's every day shit
Shut the fuck up I don't want your conversation
Rolling marijuana that's a cheap vacation
My everyday shit, every night shit, my every day shit
Every night shit

All my life, been running from you all my life
Been waiting on you all my life
All my life, you've been missing all my life

Every night fucks every day up
Every day patches the night up
On God you should match it, it's that KO
No white lights til I fuck my 28th up
In 1998 my family had that Acura, oh
The Legend, kept at least six discs in the changer
Back when Boswell and Percy had it active
Couple bishops in the city building mansions
All the Reverends
Preaching self made millionaire status
When we could only eat at Shoneys on occasion
After trina hit I had to transfer campus
Your apartment out in Houston's where I waited
Stayin' with you when I didn't have a address
Fuckin on you when I didn't own a mattress
Working on a way to make it outta Texas
Every night

Drop the baby off at home before my night shift
You know I can't hear none of that spend the night shit, Kumbaya shit
Want to see nirvana, we don't want to die yeah
Wanna feel that lovin' when you come by
Fuck with me after my shift
Know them boys wanna see me broke down
Wanna see me bummed out
Stressed out
Everyday shit
Shut the fuck up I don't want your conversation
Rolling marijuana, that's a cheap vacation
Everyday shit, every night shit, every day shit
Every night shit