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Self Aware

by Shutterings

/
1.
backing out of any confrontation wheres that sense of carnage? let me in on all of your deprication now I'm all hot and bothered whats the cost of you tossing out your pride? for your life? difference is that you've changed lost your stride kept no lights above your head when they used to burn so bright on a one way trip down a flight of stairs i thought you knew the bouncer? keep it cool keep it steady before you talk all profoundly im not one to take a spill on some pavement as a threat but if you can't pull it together then you're better off left for dead
2.
Self Aware 04:32
cumbersome in tone but i don't need any pity wonderful in tone but the flesh holds the key don't wake me because sleeping feels so good untouched by you and all the things i have to do all this shit never really makes you self aware and i know i don't really seem that inclined to share but i know you won't feel it in your gut like you did before and i know they won't make you eat it right off of the floor why do i feel so gracious? is it because you want nothing more of the dangers that you first sought out aint nothing like a stranger but i can drain out all of my blood just so you could savor me all at once don't wake me because sleeping feels so good untouched by you and all the things i have to do don't take me in place of another you gotta see that doubt manifest itself in me as your lover all this shit never really makes you self aware and i know i don't really seem that inclined to share but i know you won't feel it in your gut like you did before and i know they won't make you eat it right off of the floor
3.
from the archway i can see you look at yourself that cold pale clone on the floor is not me and this must be a dream disruptions in the thoughts because she didn't know how really lost she was even though we could've all pitched in and done a bit more guess i could let this go on for just a lil bit longer guess i should have been more aware of my surroundings in that i may not be in the best place both outward and in don't take too long slip out of it when it washes over i can't feel my hands can i borrow yours for the moment? plz i had no previous consultation all of us are here waiting to see you again and when we all meet we demand that you sing and tell us how you've been girl blow this all to the wayside until you can recall what you've gained how long has it been? since you've addressed yourself you want to portray this blessed life but all i see are the stressed signs like being pressed for time being pressed like a fine wine if the juice never left the grape guess i could let this go on for just a lil bit longer guess i should have been more aware of my surroundings in that i may not be in the best place both outward and in don't take too long slip out of it when it washes over i can't feel my hands can i borrow yours for the moment? plz i had no previous consultation all of us are here waiting to see you again and when we all meet we demand that you sing and tell us how you've been girl
4.
Handle This 03:56
isn't it something when nothing feels better than watching you crawl foraging feet in retreat from the ones who think lesser of me or even bother at all see I've thought about all the times where I've been restrained and I've got it now all wrapped up and contained see I've thought about all the times where i felt immortal and I've got it now all wrapped up and sorted out i can handle this on my own terms step aside hide or quickly pass by if you don't wanna get burned too much talk and not enough grit theres more blood than gold in your spit now see I've thought about all the times where I've been restrained and I've got it now all wrapped up and contained i can handle this on my own terms step aside hide or quickly pass by if you don't wanna get burned
5.
constant repeat rather not hear nor see like a big sinking ship its all the voices screaming in fits walking through a veil made of faces as if they were planted there only there to speak to me when I'm down and out in need of reasoning theres not mine looking for something that isn't there finding no comfort in friendly stares why are you still here? does it mean that you don't see whats wrong? you take your leave before you heard the first song! I'm just trying to keep it moving along sleeping in the wake like i was casted there feeling all the ground quake as i make my past transgressions obvious fighting for the mound of earth that i claim to be my home nothing like the surprise of trying to keep it all alone trying to keep it all alone looking for something looking for something that isn't there finding no comfort in friendly stares why are you still here? does it mean that you don't see whats wrong? you take your leave before you heard the first song! I'm just trying to keep it moving along
6.
i can hardly bare to see whats left of the care that you had for me and the others i had no idea about all the things to come room to room to room clenching your fists thinking about all the people that you've really pissed off but don't you dare even blame yourself this is out of your control you're 20 feet deep way down in the thick of it and understandably so i know that you're probably tired and sick of it signs of moving decay all that we ask is you remain silent and try to relax this all just happened way to fast for me to latch on and we will be right here in hopes that you catch on you're 20 feet deep way down in the thick of it and understandably so i know that you're probably tired and sick of it This could've happened to anyone
7.
im tiptoeing across a 30 foot tight rope its as if i could lay beside you at night without a single sigh or moan nobody locks their doors anymore and i can see why sweet lil thing wrapped up for me and its right past my bed time oh no who the fuck are you??? i come in many different shades but I'm feeling more red than grey today so just plz let me go and ill promise ill do what you say it doesn't matter if the chaos is tamed because you will be my display what a mess to leave behind i can't find my keys and i feel someone breathing down my neck whip around no ones there but i feel a presence not here to protect dry eyes chapped lips and sweaty palms that slip when i take off i replay it in my mind several times but i can't begin to break soft i know what I've done and how i will be looked at oh no who the fuck are you??? i come in many different shades but I'm feeling more red than grey today so just plz let me go and ill promise ill do what you say it doesn't matter if the chaos is tamed because you will be my display
8.
folded underneath between the ends of 2 feet laying and gasping while you're bathed in sunlight slowly grasping my hands and my head telling me that its alright that i won't be a problem and i won't be a burden but somehow i feel like a weight that can't be overturned its pressing on your chest and you want it to stop its like the dust overcame you in waves and swept through this place and you need it to spot a quick getaway to take off and romance someone who could never take chances like i did golden locks that drape themselves on top of your silk skin i could never begin to tell you what i would do just to be in the presence and take in the essence of you and only you
9.
Round the city Round the clock Everybody needs you No you can't make everybody equal Although you got beaucoup family You don't even got nobody being honest with you Breath till I evaporated My whole body see through Transportation, handmade And I know it better than most people I don't trust them anyways You can't break the law with them Get some pussy have a calm night Shooters killing left and right Working through your worst night If I get my money right You know I won't need you And I tell you, (biiitch) I hope the sack is full up I'm fuckin', no I'm fucked up Spend it when I get that I ain't trying to keep you Can't keep up a conversation Can't nobody reach you Why your eyes well up Did you call me from a seance You are from a past life Hope you're doing well bruh I been out here head first Always like the head first Signal coming in and out Hope you're doing well bruh Everybody needs you Everybody needs you Oooh nani nani This feel like a quaalude No sleep in my body Ain't no bitch in my body New beginnings ahh New beginnings wake up akh The sun's going down Time to start your day bruh Can't keep being laid off Know you need the money if you gon' survive the Every night shit The every day shit Dropping baby off at home Before my night shift You know I can't hear none of that spend the night shit Kumbaya shit Want to see nirvana, don't want to die yeah Wanna feel that na na though Could you ride come by After my shift Know them boys wanna see me broke down and shit Bummed out and shit, stressed out and shit That's every day shit Shut the fuck up I don't want your conversation Rolling marijuana that's a cheap vacation My everyday shit, every night shit, my every day shit Every night shit All my life, been running from you all my life Been waiting on you all my life All my life, you've been missing all my life Every night fucks every day up Every day patches the night up On God you should match it, it's that KO No white lights til I fuck my 28th up In 1998 my family had that Acura, oh The Legend, kept at least six discs in the changer Back when Boswell and Percy had it active Couple bishops in the city building mansions All the Reverends Preaching self made millionaire status When we could only eat at Shoneys on occasion After trina hit I had to transfer campus Your apartment out in Houston's where I waited Stayin' with you when I didn't have a address Fuckin on you when I didn't own a mattress Working on a way to make it outta Texas Every night Drop the baby off at home before my night shift You know I can't hear none of that spend the night shit, Kumbaya shit Want to see nirvana, we don't want to die yeah Wanna feel that lovin' when you come by Fuck with me after my shift Know them boys wanna see me broke down Wanna see me bummed out Stressed out Everyday shit Shut the fuck up I don't want your conversation Rolling marijuana, that's a cheap vacation Everyday shit, every night shit, every day shit Every night shit

about

This album and lil bit longer in particular are dedicated to emma tavasci who was always encouraging and believing in my art and everyone else's in our lil orange county scene.
She had a big beautiful heart and a wonderful ear for creating music and i wish she was here with us everyday...rest in paradise girly <3

credits

released April 20, 2017

izzyrollz - all instruments(except where noted), production/mixing

Viktor Vukovic - co/mixing, drums on track 8

Pedro Mancillas and Barry Sexton(FTG) - mixing/mastering

Album Cover - Lauren Rowe
audio snippets/samples
track 2 - jane birkin/serge gainsbourg interview
track 3 - Korean talk radio outside of Salem, Oregon
track 6 - Ryan McEwan and Garrett Dirtycat Kilbarger discussing their tour
meals
track 7 - Lee Scratch Perry talking in between songs when he played
down in santa ana

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about

Shutterings Asheville, North Carolina

a personal reflection of my being, my brain, and my heart.
all songs written and recorded at home.
live line up
topher shepard - keys
jude corbin - bass/harmonies
chris semsey - drums
izzy rollz - guitar/vox/lyrics
anthony armenio - sax man
all the music on this page is free just put a 0 if you don't wanna donate. ty <3
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